I'm reminded every Father's Day of gifts received in the past that have been, well, unusual to say the least. Let's face it, the women in our lives are most often the purchasers of Father's Day surprises that can astound us, even provide hilarity that our loving female companions take for ingratitude.

Case in point: we're all familiar with the fact that women can't pick men's ties. The problem with their selections is the fact that they don't match anything we have in our closet. If that wasn't bad enough, they don't complement anything, either.

Receipt of the gift will go something like this: You open the package, cringing in your chair as the paper comes off. Then, as the tie is revealed in all its dreadfulness, you are dumbstruck and can't do anything but hold it in your hands with your mouth open. You want to gag and head for the bathroom but, with superhuman effort, you are finally able to say, "It's got a really unusual pattern, doesn't it?" To which the giver says, "I hope you like it, Dad."

Actually, the only thing you like about it is the fact that it helped to wake you up after a huge Father's Day meal that made you want to take a nap. After looking at the tie, you'll be lucky if you can sleep sometime during the next three days.

The only thing that might make opening the gift worse is if you looked at it and had your funny bone tickled. A monumental effort to keep from laughing might end in a chortle, that fades into a chuckle, then expands to a guffaw and finally bursts into a flat-out, uncontrollable fit of loud, wild laughter. When the fit goes on for an interminable length, then bursts out again after you're able to get it under control, your Father's Day audience will look at you in horror, like you just stomped on a baby bird.

Of course, the gift could have been even more awful - it might have been two ties instead of one. Or it might have been some kind of gadget or piece of high-tech gear you mentioned you'd like to have - without spelling out exactly what brand, size or type you're talking about. This kind of slip of the tongue will get you a gift that's the most dreadful substitution imaginable.

But one just has to accept what one is given with aplomb and deference to the giver. As the old saying goes, "It's the thought that counts." Personally, I like to receive greeting cards instead of gifts. That way, if they're funny cards, I can just laugh, say "Thank you," and really mean it.