I'm talking dog here.
Princess thought it was time for another. Princess has this dog book. Maybe 300 pages. It has a picture and a description of every dog ever born on this planet and all you have to do is to get out the dog book and start looking and reading and before long you know what kind of dog you want.
It's said by many that when you own a dog, soon the dog begins to look like you or you begin to look like the dog. I know that's true because Sharon Shearer owns this dog and both Sharon and the dog are very cute. Well, with that in mind I need to find a pretty one because, frankly, I could use the improvement. Anyway, in four hours or so of reading the dog book, Princess shows me which one I want. And before long you own your own Cairne Terrier. You don't actually have the dog yet but you know what I mean. You know now what kind you are going to get.
Next, of course, you go on the I-net and, presto, you are at "Puppy Search" and, sure enough, there is your dog. Fascinating. You wonder how you ever bought a dog before.
Or bought anything.
So now you get on the telephone and you call Arkansas.
Arkansas?
Well, yes, Arkansas. That's where the puppy lives. The puppy lives in Arkansas and you talk to the breeder and the breeder tells you that the dog is still available and the dog is just wonderful and she is sure that you will enjoy years of morning feedings, pitter-patter and soulful eyes, if you should be lucky enough to buy this dog. She also tells you all about the dog's breeding, her brothers and sisters and how many ribbons they have won and what other people have said about their Cairne Terrier after they had owned it for an hour or so.
It's a good story and she tells it well. Says that it would be a fine idea if I got on Pay Pal right now and sent a deposit because, if I weren't quick about it, the dog might be gone when someone else gets out their dog book.
Yeah, well, do I fall for pressure like that?
Yes.
So somehow the money flies over airwaves and arrives in the breeder's bank and disappears from yours. (How do they do that? It doesn't matter. They do). And in a minute, Bella is your dog. I don't know for sure yet that Bella will be the final name. There are other possibilities, but Princess hasn't told me yet what they are.
You also order the e-book (on the I-net) on how to train a Cairne Terrier and in a minute the 89-page training book spits out of your printer. (Another amazement!) When you read through it you see that in order to be trained correctly, the dog must understand the Alpha thing. It's important that the dog knows who is boss. The dog must understand that it is you who runs things, make the rules, set the schedules. There must be no question as to who is the leader. If you do that with authority, the dog won't pee on the carpet or chew slippers, hump legs or any of that. It must be clear that it is you who are the A Alpha. Not the dog.
The training with Bella must be constant, never-ending and firm, the book says. It must be done with authority.
Pretty much the way Princess does …

