We think he will be all right but we really don't know.
Here's what happened:
A few weeks ago I was playing on the computer like we all do. Just pushing one key after another to see where it might lead. Well, one of the buttons brought me to Yahoo Games. There, to my amazement, were all of the games ever invented … from checkers to chess.
The problem began in the Chess Room.
When you go into the Chess Room, you find maybe 20 tables to play on. Each one has a name. I entered the Camel Room. When you go into the Camel Room you find a lot of people waiting to play chess. Each of them has a name. You have to pick one for yourself, too. I picked "Bill." And I waited. And waited. Seemed that no one wanted to play chess with Bill, so I picked another name. "Grandpa." Surely someone would want to play with "Grandpa."
Nope. None. I would log onto a table and get booted off. Something was wrong. I studied the other names. Every one was a male name and nobody was playing with nobody. Well, you don't have to have a Ph.D. in anything to figure out that everyone was waiting to play with someone exciting and not with "Grandpa." I needed a name that would get some attention. So I became "agalfromcal" (A Gal From Cal) and you will never guess what happened. What happened was that now everyone wanted to play with me. They were from different cities and many different countries. They all wanted to play with a Gal from California.
It was somewhat overpowering. Before even one chess move was completed the questions began. "Where you from, Gal?" "The Hunk" wanted to know. "San Francisco" was my answer. "Are you cute?" asked "Handsome." "Big Guy" became more brazen: "Describe yourself," he demanded. So … I did. I described myself. "I'm 19, female, 5'3", 115 lbs., blond (of course), blue eyes, well developed, have some freckles across my nose and … am very, very cute."
Yeah, well, maybe it was the freckles thing, but now they couldn't get enough of this Gal from Cal. A few games of chess were actually played but mostly it was just talking and getting friendly with each other. A fireman from Georgia wanted to know where I lived and, yes, he knew the Marina District in San Francisco and, sure, he remembered Green Street. A New York stockbroker asked if I lived alone and I assured him that, yep, had this beautiful condo overlooking the Golden Gate and, of course, I lived alone. Explained that I had a fabulous job, which paid more money than I could carry home so I didn't need a roommate. Dan from Denver wanted to know what I was wearing but we won't get into that.
They all seemed very sincere and we got along just fine.
Then I met Trevor.
Trevor was everything you would want from a corporate executive from London. Suave. Debonair. Well-educated. Handsome. Everything! We discussed world events, the "market" and things in general. You couldn't help but like Trevor. Each time I logged into the Camel Room, there was Trevor. He became more charming each day. Trevor declared that our age differences didn't really matter and he wanted me to show him the sights from my penthouse and he wanted to drive around Golden Gate Park in my white BMW convert. It was hard to say no.
What girl wouldn't get carried away?
I did what you would do.
Trevor is arriving at SFO, International Terminal, British Airways at noon next Thursday.
If any of you are blond, just over five feet, blue eyed with a great body and are free next Thursday … go and meet Trevor.
Oh, if you have a few freckles and drive a (new) white BMW convertible, it would help.
Otherwise, we are a little concerned about Trevor and sure hope that he has a good sense of humor and that he knows the Internet Games are just that … games.