But as our big day approaches, it's a little sad to see how over the years the children and monotony of modern life have drained the magic from our romance. Glancing at the calendar, I see that on our anniversary I am scheduled for an upper lip waxing, and my 7-year-old is having his plantar wart frozen. Yep, we've pulled out all the stops for this momentous occasion.
In addition, it falls on a Wednesday. Weekdays are challenging right now. Three kids in baseball, two practices or games every day, and mountains of homework - but hey, perhaps we can steal a quick kiss in the garage over a can of Red Bull. My husband would chuckle at this comment because I think the last time we actually kissed like lovers instead of two old ladies meeting for lunch was in the year 2000. There is very little time to make out, and let's be honest, who wants to after 15 years of living together? My girlfriend Bonni told me that even dogs "lose interest" after they cohabitate for any length of time.
I sometimes seriously doubt that two people are supposed to stay together forever. I know very few couples who still find each other "hot." After seeing each other with the stomach flu, flossing and trimming nose hairs, wow. How do you keep it alive? Sure, I love my husband. He is a great provider and a great dad, but I know he looks forward to the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, just as I eagerly await the next "Pirates of the Caribbean" sequel.
One couple I know is actually planning a second wedding - to each other! They have known each other for half their lives and still find each other very attractive. I asked them how this could be. What's the secret? They simply said that they talk to each other about everything and that's what keeps them connected. Great advice; however, I rarely talk to my husband unless it's to tell him to take out the trash or fix the disposal. Who has time for lengthy conversations in my nuthouse?
In addition, I find that as my husband and I get older, we are beginning to switch roles. He is becoming more like a female - actually wanting to discuss our relationship and spend time together. He seems to be more sensitive to criticism. He gets mad when I forget comments he made weeks ago. Geez, I can hardly remember my children's names, for Pete's sake! I, on the other hand, find I am becoming more like a man. Closing off emotionally, not wishing to talk much, especially about our relationship. I watched "Titanic" and didn't even cry! And I've developed quite an attachment to the remote. It's cruel irony, really. I imagine there must have been a few days during this role reversal that we were probably identically alike!
I bought a nice card today. It was down to earth, touching, and it said all the right things. I imagine he has picked out one for me too. We no longer exchange gifts. We'll probably swap envelopes, give each other a quick peck on the cheek and fall into bed exhausted from the demands of the daily grind. Acknowledging another year under our belts, we'll fall asleep listening to the sounds of our sleeping house, our children, our pets. The life we made together.
Maybe we do still exchange gifts after all …
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