Stomachaches, headaches, sleep problems, poor concentration, moodiness, irritability, racing thoughts … getting married is supposed to be a happy time, right? So why are so many brides-to-be stressed out?

The pressure of endless details, vendors, family demands and emotional needs of the groom – crammed into an already busy schedule – can turn any sweet-natured woman into either a blubbering mess or the dreaded bridezilla.

Fortunately, it doesn’t need to be that way. Wedding consultants and planning experts agree that there are ways to manage the stress and make the planning process more enjoyable for everyone involved.

Expect stress

If you accept the fact that this is a stressful time, you can let go of guilt about it and take precautionary measures to deal with it. Talk with your fiancé and a close friend about helping you chill out when things get too tense. Come up with a non-judgmental code word they can use to let you know it’s time for a break. When you hear the code word, stop, take a deep breath and then set the planning aside for a while and do something non-wedding related.

Be realistic

A lot of brides set their expectations so high – especially financially ­– that they drive themselves (and everyone around them) crazy trying to meet them. There are many resources (Web sites, books, magazines, friends) that can help you pull off a lovely wedding on any budget.

Don’t try to please everyone

It’s not possible. Nor is it reasonable to try. The wedding is about the bride and groom. You two need to decide what’s meaningful to you and what will express who you are. If his mother wants Cousin Jennie to play her bagpipe as you march down the aisle and you don’t care for the idea, it’s OK to say no. Come up with a polite response such as, “Thanks for your suggestion, but we’re going in a different direction.” Feelings might get bruised, but ultimately it’s your day and it must please you and your fiancé.

Delegate, delegate, delegate

No matter how capable you are, no matter how nifty your organizer is, you can’t do everything by yourself. Nor should you, so stop feeling guilty. It’s OK to ask friends, family and the groom for help – as long as you do it nicely. Some churches or reception halls employ a wedding coordinator to help with details. They’ve done this before – you haven’t. Use them!

Take care of yourself

It’s always important to eat right, get enough sleep and exercise, but it’s especially important during times of stress. You’ll feel more energized, be able to think more clearly and make better decisions. Besides, who wants to see a bride with dark circles under her eyes drag herself down the aisle?

Keep things in perspective

The most important thing to remember is that the wedding is only a one-day event. It’s just a party to celebrate the beginning of a life together. Too many brides feel enormous pressure to make the wedding perfect and they forget about building a solid marriage. Don’t lose yourself in the details of this one day. You have a lifetime of new memories to create – this is only one of them.

– Courtesy of Family Features