One local resident has thrown himself heart and gizzard into the question of whether chicken-keeping regulations in Brentwood should be relaxed. As noted below, the City Council is expected to decide the question on Feb. 9.

Two Brentwood hens have become world famous over a backyard dispute regarding their presence. An angry neighbor seems intent on putting a pox on the chickens, accusing them off smelling bad, spreading bird flu and pooping in her yard (located next door behind a high fence) 1,000 times a day! Not only that, the neighbor charges; the eggs they lay will attract wild animals that could endanger her cat. Serious charges indeed. This has the hens setting on the edge of their nests as they await the Brentwood City Council’s decision on their fate at the Feb 9 meeting. Another big crowd is expected.

The hens agreed to a personal interview with MilesTones and posed for pictures in order to let their side of the story be told in order to put a face on chickens who have run afowl of the law.

This is the very first interview that Henny and Penny have consented to give. Kimberly Kennedy, who is history’s first Chicken Whisperer, translated the hens’ responses to questions and has sworn that the translations she gave were accurate.

MilesTones: What is that sign about Jesus on your window?

Henny: Buc buc brrrrr. Translation: We are Christian Chickens. Our ancestors were converted by St. Francis of Assisi.

MilesTones: What do you think about neighbors complaining about you?

Penny: Buc brrrr. Translation: Eggsasperating!

MilesTones: What do you say to the accusation that you smell bad?

Henny: Brrr buc. Translation: It stinks!

MilesTones: What words do you hate to hear?

Henny and Penny: Buc buc buc buc brrrrr, brrrrrr. Translation: Hearing someone call another person a dumb cluck and calling someone a birdbrain. That stereotypes us and is very hurtful … don’t get us started on that.

MilesTones: OK, OK. I see this is a very tender spot with you. Will you both be present at the hearing next Tuesday?

Henny and Penny: Buc brrrrrr, buc buc brrrr brrrr brrr (repeated several times). Translation: Yes. We are orderly and no trouble. We just want to observe. Mayor Bob Taylor indicated that he is for the birds by wearing that turkey suit for an event this past Thanksgiving, which gives us hope. And he understands that every year the president himself pardons turkeys who are destined to be Thanksgiving dinner. We hope that the mayor will act presidential in this hearing, even though he voted against us at the last hearing. That means that our futures lie in the outcome of that final vote.

At this point the interview ended because it was raining cats and dogs outside. It is advisable to come early for the City Council meeting on Tuesday, Feb. 9 in order to get a seat.